Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Flying Spaghetti Monsters: Deliciously Irreverent.

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What do you get when Pinterest and Facebook collide?

Inspiration:)

I have been Facebook friends (and WTE message board friends) with a girl named Sara for a few years now. If you ask Sara what her religion is she will tell you proudly, FSM. Oh, you have never heard of the Church of FSM? Let me share with you.


Swedish designer Niklas Jansson created this interpretation of Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam


Back in 2005 Bobby Henderson, concerned with the addition of Intelligent Design to the curriculum, wrote an open letter to the Kansas School Board informing them that if ID was going to be taught then he wanted the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to receive equal representation. The theories are similar in many ways.

  • They both refute the logic of Science and Evolution.
  • They are both based on books, written by men.
  • They both have a (supposedly) fictional character at their helm

For the most part Pastafarians are a peace (and noodle) loving bunch. You will find the occasional one who gets upset when the noodles aren't al dente but as a whole they are very laid back. In fact one of the main tenets of FSM is that there be no dogma and, above all else, not to take themselves too seriously. Sign me up:)

Where am I going with all this?

One day I was putting off doing my housework looking up recipes on Pinterest when I saw this culinary abomination touting itself to be the best snack for kids ever.


Yum! Entrails.


Really? Have we lowered the bar so far that shoving dried spaghetti through tube steak and boiling it passes for a "nutritious" snack? It defies logic, it defies common sense. Calling it nutritious flies in the face of science. It is the Intelligent Design of kids cuisine.

Enter FSM:)

I have long been of the opinion that anything found on Pinterest can either be A) effed up beyond all recognition or B) adapted into something even more wonderful. I got to thinking about how I could make this recipe better. Hmmm, what goes with spaghetti that's healthier than hot dogs? Meatballs perhaps? I mean let's face it, if you can stick spaghetti through a hot dog then ostensibly you should be able to stick it through a meatball. I decided to pay homage to my FSM friends and create a dinner fit for Pastover, or Ramendan. I created my very own Flying Spaghetti Monsters.


...and FSM said unto them "Let there be dinner" and there was, and it was good.


These deliciously irreverent little meatballs can be made either as a snack or a full blown meal. Since there are roughly 6785439 different meatball recipes out there I won't bore you with my version. I will point out that using regular ground beef works a little better than leaner ground beef and spaghettini cooks a little faster than spaghetti. Other than that you're on your own. Use whatever meatball recipe you want, use whatever marinara sauce recipe you want. There is no dogma here. We don't judge.

Skewer the meatballs with pieces of spaghettini. You can use a little or a lot. It's your meal. Boil a big pot of water, add a dash of salt and a splash of olive oil. Once you have a good rolling boil going, drop your meatball/pasta combos into the pot. Let them boil for 7-10 minutes depending on how you like your pasta. The meatballs cook quickly, so don't worry about them. Once the pasta is done, they'll be done (provided you haven't made them too big). As you can see mine are roughly the size of golf balls.



I snap my pasta in half so that there is a hearty meat to carb ratio.


What I don't understand is how the hell the pasta inside the meatball cooks. Maybe its steam, maybe its meat juice. All I know is that it cooks perfectly. Every time. A scientist might be able to explain it but I am no scientist. Besides, science is irrelevant. Every time a scientific conclusion is reached, FSM just reaches out his noodly appendage and changes the results. We're not sure why he does this, we just know that he can. Being ineffable has it's privileges.

Toss the cooked meatballs in a skillet with marinara sauce.


So once you have your pasta strained toss it into a stir fry pan/deep skillet. Add your marinara sauce and toss everything together until the pasta is evenly coated and the sauce is warmed. That's all there is to it. Kids love it, grown ups love it, Pastafarians love it. Whats not to love? It's everything you love about spaghetti and meatballs wrapped up in a satirical little package. I promise you wont go to hell for eating them. Any god that would create the duck billed platypus MUST have a sense of humor. Enjoy.

R'amen:)




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Friday, May 18, 2012

Strawberry Fields Forever

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"Damn you Pinterest *shakes fist at computer screen*

Just when I thought I had gotten over you, you had to come sneaking back into my life. Well, I am through with you. You hear me? Through! All you do is set me up so you can knock me down.

I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it. I love you, really. Don't be mad. I'll keep crafting."

This was me a week ago. Something has happened since then that has solidified my relationship with Pinterest and made us stronger than ever.

I made something that actually turned out good!

Did it just get cold in here?



Seriously people. This is a major accomplishment. I barely even hurt myself in the process.

I have been wanting to grow my own strawberries for a while now, CeeCee eats her own body weight in them weekly. Really I would love to grow ALL of her food since most of her issues seem to stem from food sensitivities but I have been hampered by a lack of space and lack of skill.

Enter Pinterest.

I have been in love with the idea of repurposing pallets for a while now. They are so versatile it's ridiculous. I found this idea for a pallet garden on Pinterest. I liked it but flowers aren't really my thing. Then inspiration smacked me upside my head.

I could grow strawberries!

I could grow lots of strawberries!!

I could become a strawberry farmer!!!

After a reality check, I reined myself in and went to work gathering supplies. My landlord gave me a pallet, My mom gave me a bunch of ever bearing strawberries and I hit up my local Canadian Tire Garden Center for the rest.

Supplies (minus plants, they came later)

You will need:

  •  One pallet (preferably not too banged up but it doesn't have to be perfect)
  • 12 bags of topsoil (or a pile of dirt from your yard, no judgement here)
  • 28 strawberry plants ( I like ever bearing, they fruit all summer)
  • 3 meters of landscape fabric (you WILL have leftovers)
  • Sandpaper (doesn't have to be fancy, coarse grit will do)
  • Roofing nails and a hammer
  • Scissors

Step One - Prepping your pallet

Do yourself a favor, wear gloves. 
The first thing you want to do is hammer in any nails that have worked their way loose or are sticking out at funny angles. Once everything is nice and tight take your sandpaper and give the front slats a light sanding, paying attention to the edges of each slat. Don't knock yourself out trying to make it perfect, it isn't meant to be. All we are going for with this step is preventing the need for either a tetanus shot or a pair of tweezers. Rusty nails and splinters tend to take the fun out of gardening.




Step Two - Attach landscape fabric

Note the use of a solar light, lol

Fold the fabric in half so that you have a double thickness. Carefully arrange it over the back of your pallet so that the back, two sides and bottom are well covered. Cut to fit, carefully. If in doubt cut bigger than you think you need and trim off the excess. Landscape fabric is cheap like borscht so don't feel too bad about wasting a few inches. 

 







Like a big ol' wooden envelope

I used roofing nails to attach the fabric at the pallets thickest points, then I went around and sealed the edges. Be careful with the edges because there isn't a lot of wood there and you don't want to drive a nail through the front of your pallet. I like roofing nails because they have a wide head on them and I didn't want to worry about the fabric pulling free. You could probably use a staple gun if you wanted. Since I am not allowed to use dangerous power tools (for the greater good) I went the old fashioned route. I only smacked my thumb with a hammer once (ok, twice) . 





 

Step Three - Fill it up:)

The top eight are sad pandas:(
Now that I had my garden box it was time to fill it. Word to the wise, put it exactly where you want it before you fill it because these suckers are HEAVY. Once I had it leaning in its happy place I just cut the tops off the bags and dumped them in from the top. I stuck two strawberry plants in each opening, shoved a couple of solar lights in the top (we really do have ENTIRELY too many solar lights laying around, I think they're breeding) gave it a good watering and that was that. Sadly I don't think some of the top eight are going to make it (transplants from momma's garden) but the rest are doing just fine.



Once you have watered a couple of times the dirt will stay in better.


Well there you have it people, proof that a complete and utter klutz CAN complete a Pinterest project without bloodshed (well, without MUCH bloodshed) and end up with a beautiful and functional garden feature in the process. Soon I will get to reap the rewards:)

First fruit
A happy baby with a happy tummy.


Photo Credit, from top:
Some creepy website
All the rest, me and Instagram Pin It

Monday, May 7, 2012

Birthday Party or Seventh Circle of Hell

Pin It Nothing brings out the worst in me like a kid's birthday party.

I don't get it, I must be abnormal. Kids parties are joyous occasions right? Balloons and cake and games...and crying...and fighting over toys...and someone puking in a corner...

Are we having fun yet?


Stab me in the eye with a plastic fork and get it over with.

Yesterday we went to an amazing party for a friends son. I love my friend and she really does throw a great party. It was a Batman theme and she had made capes and masks for all the kids, the cake was a fancy fondant Gotham City in miniature, even the lollipops had capes. The birthday boy had a special visit from The Dark Knight himself (his uncle in a rented suit, shh, it's our little secret). The weather was beautiful, the snacks were plentiful and the kids had a great time and behaved beautifully.

I'm the only freak that didn't thoroughly enjoy herself.

The timing might have had something to do with it. For the record, Sunday mornings are for sleeping. It is the one day of the week that I can snuggle in bed with my babies after having a leisurely (and well deserved after a week of night feedings) lie in. It's a day for eating pancakes, sipping coffee while I share the paper with my hubby and puttering around the house.

After our ironic pillow fight can you iron my chinos so I can grab a soy milk latte?

Instead my Sunday went a little something like this:
  • Wake up at 8:30 instead of usual 10:00. (What is this, a weekday?) Pour a cup of much needed coffee.
  • Hastily wrap present for the birthday boy, despite best intentions of wrapping it the night before. Rejoice in the fact that I am not wrapping it in the car on the way to the party, as I usually do.
  • Plan getting ready down to the last minute "I'll get CeeCee showered while you change Parker's butt, then I'll bathe Parker while you get CeeCee dressed, then you can dress Parker while I get showered..."
  • Realize that planning has taken too long and I now no longer have time to shower. Take slug of coffee only to realize that it is cold and has a Cheerio floating in it. (Thanks CeeCee)
  • Abandon attempt at styling uncooperative hair and slap on a headband. Toy with the idea of makeup and then decide it isn't worth it.
  • Pack kids into car and rush to arrive on time. Arrive late anyway. Realize that despite arriving late we are still one of the first families to show up.
  • Make awkward small talk with other mothers, who I don't know, about their kids, who I also don't know.
  • Accidentally knock my friends toddler face first onto the ground (It could happen to anybody people. He zigged, I zagged. It wasn't intentional. STOP STARING AT ME) Luckily kids are apparently made of rubber and the little tyke was none the worse for wear, although he kept his distance for the rest of the day. Can't blame him, I'm the mean lady that beats up little kids for fun
  • Watch my child consume Cheetos, hot dogs, cape wearing lollipops and a large-ish slice of the Gotham City Police Dept. Mentally prepare for the sugar crash and/or tummy ache later.
What do you MEAN I can't have cake for supper!


CeeCee is a Spirited Child, that means that she can be very intense most of the time. I was surprised to see that she wasn't bouncing off the walls. In fact she was very introverted and looked almost sad. I don't know if it was the change in her routine or the fact that she was surrounded by strangers but it took her forever to warm up. By the time she hit her stride it was, of course, time to pack up and go home. After a power nap in the car she was good as new. 
In the end it was worth it. The birthday boy got spoiled, his mom got a reputation as the best party planner ever, CeeCee kept down all her food and as for Mr. Zinga and myself we got the best present ever.
CeeCee as Batgirl
Our very own superhero:)


Photo Credits:
4 - Me and Instagram:)
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